Ashley (deadly_desires) wrote in two_pack,
Ashley
deadly_desires
two_pack

Weird

Today me and my boyfriend got in a fight over something remotely stupid.. but at the same time it seemed like a big deal when we were in the moment well neway.. now he won't talk to me.. And for the first time I really don't give a shyt as to what he feels at this moment in time.. Cuz I've spent the last 9 months of my life worrying if I was making him happy or not... My whole world would revolve around him and making sure I was living up to his standards...then I had a wake up call.. What the hell was I thinking? if he can't accept me for me...why the hell am I still here? I dunno why I'm still here.. Hell.. I don't even know if he wants me here... Cuz you don't break up with someone 3 times over the summer for the hell of it? I mean.. WTF did I do to deserve that? God...He just pisses me off so much... I'm at the point where I really don't know what to do.. I'd rather just stil back and let whatever will happen... because I'm tired... I can't do this anymore...he thinks that I'm only there for his convience and nothing more.. And yet... I can't bring myself to say goodbye...Why.. cuz I need him...tonight I called him... He wasn't home.. To be honest.. I was kinda relieved.. Mainly because I was scared that if i talked to him.. he would break up with me.. I'm scared to talk to my boyfriend because I don't want to give him the chance to break up with me.. Is it me.. or is there something wrong with that?
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